My big brother is getting more assertive as he gets older. Last week he set me two tasks. Normally, I don’t take kindly to being told what to do, but the first was so enticing, and his logic for suggesting the second was so persuasive, that I find myself compelled to act like a submissive younger sibling.

First, he came up with a cool idea (he didn’t actually use the word ‘cool’. He spent over 40 years as an actuary in the world of insurance, so ‘cool’ isn’t in his vocabulary.) Inspired by my rekindling of memories of Tom Lehrer last week, he suggested that, for Simchat Torah, it would be fun to set to music the names of the 54 weekly Torah portions.

So, on Sunday, instead of working on the shul magazine, I spent the day doing just that. It was an interesting challenge. First, I grouped the names of the portions into their rhyming families. I used what I hope is the standard Israeli Ashkenzi pronunciation; the last group in the following list contains all the unique final sounds that have no rhyming partner.

Beha’a lot’cha, Va’era, Vayikra, Vayera, Chayei Sara,
Beshalach, Vayishlach, Noach, Korach, Shlach,
Vayetzei, Ki Tetzei, Masa’ei, Pekudei, Re’ei,
Dvarim, Mishpatim, Nitzavim, Kedoshim, Shof’tim,
Ki Tavo, Naso, Bo, Yitro,
Acharei Mot, Matot, Shemot, Toldot,
Behar, Bamidbar,
Vaychi, Shmini,
Vayeshev, Ekev,
Balak, Vaetchanan, Pinchas, Vayigash, Chukat, Tzav, Bechukotai, Tetzave, Vayelech, Vayak’hel, Miketz, Bereshit, Haazinu, Emor,

Having done this spadework, two things were obvious. First, this was unlikely to be as daunting a task as I had first feared, because there were six groups with at least four rhyming names, which would allow for four-line verses with an AAAA rhyming scheme, and, with luck, an internal rhyme as well.

Second, thirty of the names were three-syllable words, only four were four-syllable words, fifteen were two-syllable words and one was a monosyllable. Only two of the others were six syllables long. All of this suggested that it would not be complicated to fit the names into the pattern of a song with a triple rhythm. My first thought was the theme from The Lone Ranger, or the William Tell overture by Rossini, to give it its highbrow name. I eventually rejected that because of the complicated and long finale. Then it struck me: there was a perfect triplet patter song that could tolerate the throwing in of an extra syllable here and there, pacy and racy.

If you start by singing the first two lines below to the end of the intro to America from West Side Story, starting at the line “I like the isle of Manhattan”, and then sing the four lines of the main tune (starting “I like to be in America”, followed by the first variation “I think I go back to San Juan”, followed by the main tune twice, you will find that the following arrangement works.

I have taken the same liberty Lehrer allowed himself, by throwing in a ‘ve’ or an ‘u’ (and) at the beginning of the occasional name, to aid the scansion (cf ‘and anthramum and osmium’):

Matot, Shemot veKi tetzei,
Truma, Toldot uF’kudei,

Vayigash, Vayishlach, Va’eira,
Tetzave, Beshalach, Vayikra,
Ha’azinu, Noach, Vayeira,
Va’etchanan, Korach, Ki Tisa,

Chukat, Bechukotai, Behar,
Bereishit, Pinchas, Bamidbar,
Yayak’hel, Emor, Vayeshev,
Vayeleich, Tzav, Mikeitz, Ekev’

Yitro, Devarim, Chayei Sara,
Naso, ve’Shoftim, Tazri’a
Vayetzei, Nitzavim, Lech Lecha
Masa’ei, Kedoshim, Metzora,

Balak, Vayechi, Acharei Mot,
Sh’lach, u’Mishpatim, Re’ei, Vezot
Haberacha, Shemini u’Vo
Beha’a lot’cha, Ki Tavo.

מטות, שמות, וכי תצא,
תרומה, תולדות, ופקודי,

ויגש, וישלח, וארא,
תצווה, בשלח, ויקרא,
האזינו, נח, וירא,
ואתחנן, קורח, כי תשא,

חוקת, בחוקותי, בהר,
בראשית, פינחס, במדבר, ו
יקהל, אמור, וישב,
וילך, צו, מקץ, עקב,

יתרו, דברים, חיי שרה,
נשא, ושופטים, תזריע,
ויצא, ניצבים, לך לך,
מסעי, קדושים, מצורע,

בלק, ויחי, אחרי מות,
שלח, משפטים, ראה, וזאת
הברכה, שמיני, ובא,
בהעלותך, כי תבוא.

There. That’s a little gift to you, my loyal readership. There’s plenty of time for you to memorise that and polish your performance before you amaze your friends in shul on Simchat Torah.

Unfortunately, the second task does not, in prospect, seem quite so much fun. However, Martin pointed out that I have, from time to time, ventured into the realm of geopolitics, and since, last week, Maale Adumim became the centre of the Middle East conflict for a day, he felt that I really couldn’t not write about the Israeli government approval for the planned development of the area that has been known for years as E1, that is now renamed T1 (in recognition of Trump’s support for Israel), and that will, in the future, be known, apparently, as Mevasseret Adumim, which we can translate as the Herald or Harbinger of Adumim. (Mevasseret Yerushalayim is a town on the main road to Jerusalem, the first point on the road from which you can see Jerusalem as you approach on the road.)

The development of T1 will add 3,400 housing units to the city of Maale Adumim. A new suburb within Maale Adumim is expected to add an additional over 3,500 units. Together, these two suburbs should see the city’s population grow from about 40,000 to around 75,000. Provided that this development is achieved with commensurate infrastructure development, this should be good news for the city. It certainly will bring to an end a long period when young citizens could not find affordable homes within the city.

However, none of this is the reason why the world is focused on E1. On a scale that is out of all proportion to its size, the area represents a huge battleground over territorial contiguity. The development of E1 will effectively turn Maale Adumim into what will be potentially a suburb of Jerusalem.

Incidentally, this will probably lead to a significant increase in our arnona (property tax), because the per capita sum raised by Jerusalem municipality from among its citizens is significantly less than the corresponding figure in Maale Adumim, a city with a prop-ortionately large working-age and working population. At the same time, we may find that the market value, and the saleability, of our house both increase.

Of course, contiguity of Israeli housing will result in discontiguity of Palestinian housing. For the last decades, Palestinians have maintained illegal facts on the ground, in the form of housing, to ensure that the southern part of a putative Palestinian state (including Bethlehem) is not cut off from the northern part (including Ramallah) It’s worth bearing in mind that, despite the dramatic sound of the phrase’cut off’, we are talking about a very small parcel of land.

In the map below, the Jerusalem municipality is in beige, Israeli population centres are shown in blue, Palestinian population centres are shown in brown and E1 is shown in red. The map clearly shows that, if pigs were to be seen flying tomorrow, and an agreement were reached over a Palestinian state, it would be very easy to build a tunnel under E1 providing contiguity to the two parts of Palestine. It would scarcely need to be longer than the new tunnel underpassing French Hill, which has shortened our journey to Jerusalem and beyond by at least ten minutes.

So, what is the real significance of this announcement? Here, for what it’s worth, is my take. First and foremost, this is not a maverick act by Finance Minister Bezalel Smotrich. Even though he was the government representative at the official ceremony announcing the approval of the development project, and even though he is undoubtedly personally delighted by the decision, and more than ready to take credit for pushing it through, let no one be in doubt. It is Netanyahu who has blocked the development for a couple of decades, and it is Netanyahu who has now decided that it will go through.

I believe that this change in tactics is part of Netanyahu’s concerted attempt to increase pressure on Hamas. If Hamas intransigence results in loss of Palestinian land, that represents a far greater humiliation for Hamas than the mass losses among its forces, the hardship suffered by the Gaza population (obviously) and even the elimination of multiple layers of Hamas leadership. Martyrdom is a badge of honour for Hamas: not only, I suspect, for the foot soldiers, but also for the senior leadership. They genuinely see their cause as greater than themselves and they regard it as a religious duty to be prepared and proud to die for the cause. They will embrace death.

Loss of Palestinian land, on the other hand, hits Hamas where it hurts, at the very heart of their cause. In addition, if Palestinians in the West Bank join the dots between the failure of negotiations in Gaza and the development of E1, this is potentially very bad news for Hamas.

That represents about the extent (to be honest, considerably more than the extent) of my willingness to comment on the situation. At the end of the day, I’m much more comfortable playing at making patterns with words.