Sunday

It’s good to know that there are some things you can always depend on. In a constantly changing world, there are still some immutables. Nobody could have predicted what corona has done over the last 15 months to the entire world. It’s a brave man who would have bet on the exact combination of parties that currently form Israel’s coalition government. Even Roger and Rafa may be passing their sell-by date.

And yet, reliable as ever, whenever man proposes, God can still be relied upon to dispose. This time last week, I blithely wrote, regarding my health: I don’t see the need to issue further bulletins.

And then……. And then…….

I’ve been sounding hoarse and repeatedly clearing my throat for a couple of months now, and last Sunday I felt sufficiently recovered from my hip operation to introduce my family doctor to yet another part of my anatomy. (He and I have long agreed that, considering that I have so many things wrong with me, I am remarkably healthy.) He saw me at 5 the same afternoon, took a quick look at my throat and then told me to wait outside while he contacted the ENT clinic to get me an urgent appointment. That rather spooked me.

9 o’clock the next morning found Bernice and myself very nervously waiting to be seen by a specialist, who seemed, by contrast, remarkably calm (But then, it wasn’t his throat!). He gave me a swift examination with a mirror, remained very calm, and then informed me that I had throat polyps. He didn’t examine me further or take a biopsy, but simply prescribed a throat spray for a month, and advised me to talk no more than necessary, and even then not to speak loudly or sing. I have an appointment to see him again after a month.

So, I have been inundating Bernice with WhatsApps several hundred times a day, and, when friends visited on Shabbat, I spent a lot of time nodding, and a little time trying, and mostly failing, to make a contribution to the conversation by assertive whispering. (This is, of course, an oxymoron and physical impossibility – and, incidentally, may cause more damage than normal speaking, according to Dr Google.) Tslil sees this month as a wonderful opportunity for me to meditate and get in touch with my inner self. (I’ll give that a moment to sink in.) Even after several years, she really doesn’t know me very well.

Over the last weeks I have had a few mood swings, particularly when I convinced myself that I was not making further progress in strengthening my legs. However, in the last couple of days I have started feeling improvement again, and have made some occasionally successful attempts to stay sunny. Bernice has, of course, as always, been incredibly understanding, and cut me far more slack than I deserve. After a very encouraging and reassuring visit from the physiotherapist earlier today, I feel a lot happier.

The greatest frustration has been that I am now no longer able to talk or read to Tao in any normal way. He has been as understanding as his nana, and we’ve developed a couple of games where I move my joints in response to commands from Tao, and we have also started reading very familiar books where I turn the pages and Tao tells the story. However, it is not easy for me to keep him engaged for more than a few minutes, without sliding into talking, which I really want to avoid.

Fortunately, I am now able to accompany Tao and Bernice on walks and to the park, and tomorrow we are planning to have a grandparents’ day out at the zoo with Tao.

Monday

And yet, reliable as ever, whenever man proposes, God can still be relied upon to dispose. This time yesterday, I blithely wrote: and tomorrow we are planning to have a grandparents’ day out at the zoo with Tao.

And then……. And then…….

I woke up this morning feeling dizzy and light-headed. Bernice is confident that it is nothing more than the effects of dehydration during the (very hot) night, after fasting yesterday. I probably just didn’t drink enough yesterday evening.

I’m a lot better now (apart from feeling awful that this blog is turning into a rejected screenplay for an episode of Dr Kildare), and I really only bore you with it to explain why, as Bernice and Tao watch the penguins being fed, and ride the zoo train, I sit here feeling sorry for myself and burdening you with my troubles in a way that I would never dream of doing if I were talking to you face to face…even assuming that I was able to talk to you face to face without aggravating either my polyps or you, or indeed, judging by how my luck is currently running, both.

And then, no sooner do I type that last thought, than I realise just how wonderfully my luck is actually running. We are currently in the middle of Micha’el, Tslil and Tao’s five-and-a-half week visit, during which we’ve been able to celebrate Micha’el’s birthday. With Esther and Ma’ayan, all seven of us have been able to spend time together. I’m recovering reassuringly well from my hip replacement op; in fact, my physiotherapist tells me I should no longer consider myself ‘after an op’. I have the most supportive family imaginable, led by the woman with whom I make a perfect match: I honestly don’t deserve her, and she definitely doesn’t deserve me. I have no idea what I did right in a previous existence, or she did wrong, but both acts must have been humungous.

Right! Enough of this cloying nonsense. If I’m going to gush, let me gush about two-and-a-quarter years of sheer delight – Tao. Rather than submit you to another 500 words of elaborating on his placid character, his powers of concentration, his sense of humour, his manual dexterity, his already evident self-possession, let me leave you with a video.

For his birthday, Micha’el and the family went to a climbing gym, or, as we afficionados call it (so I’m told), a bouldering gym. Dressed in his climbing shoes, Tao belied his tender years in a display of concentrated awareness both of space and of his body. His every move was considered, and his bodily control was almost perfect. (Alright then, just a little gush.) Perhaps most impressively, he had confidence in his abilities to go so far, and then he calmly decided when the time had come for him to descend. (Fortunately, his nana and grandpa weren’t there; if we had been, he would never have climbed so high, trust me!