Blogger’s Note:

This week’s blog was written early, in the expectation that by now (Monday afternoon) I would be either under the knife or not yet coming round from the anaesthetic. However, as my email on Sunday briefly explained, my surgery has been postponed to Wednesday. This may be because the hospital had, yesterday, run out of money (see below). It may, on the other hand, be because the nurse who is the ward’s eminence grise took objection to my suggestion to her, after we had waited over four hours on Sunday, that giving all of the candidates for surgery a 9:00AM appointment for pre-op was possibly inefficient and even inconsiderate.

Whatever the reason – and I don’t expect we will ever know the real reason – I should probably rewrite this entire blog, in the light of the changed reality. However, I prefer to argue that the whole essence of a blog, like any other diary, is that it captures the blogger’s subjective reality at a specific moment. This post, then, reflects with searing authenticity my thoughts last Friday, and, for that reason, is a valuable artefact – although reading it through just now I can’t honestly see its value. Anyway, here goes….

Last week, on two occasions in my post, I made passing reference to a particular topic, and promised “…of which more next week.” By the time you read this, next week will have come, although I am actually writing this last Friday….Or should that be: I wrote this last Friday? Or perhaps: I am writing this this Friday? Or maybe: I am/was writing this on what is/was/will have been this/last Friday. Oh, what the hell!

David’s blog, Earth date 2021.05.28.
Not to be read before 2021.06.01

The first of the two topics was my hip. More time travel: I am writing this with one artificial hip and one crumbling natural hip. By the time you read this, I will, God willing, have two artificial hips. Of course, since the Israeli Treasury has been dragging its heels (as have I, coincidentally – or at least one of them) shamelessly over transferring the Government-pledged 600 million shekels to the 7 public hospitals, and since the head of Hadassah Hospital Har Hatzofim (where I am having my surgery) announced yesterday on the radio that the hospital does not have sufficient funds to pay its suppliers after May 31, there is always the possibility that, by the time you read this, the supplier will have repossessed my artificial hip!

However, I have every confidence that everything will turn out for the best. I take my inspiration from Geoffrey Rush’s immortal line in Shakespeare in Love, trusting that his comment applies to all kinds of theatres, including operating ones. (Blogger’s note: Some regard my Polyanna optimism as my most endearing feature; others see it as an embarrassment.)

I realise that it is unrealistic of me to rely on being able to update you in detail after my op, in time to publish my blog at 9:00 am on Tuesday. So, I have decided to write the post early, and just leave the dispatching of the emails for Tuesday. If, for any reason, the blog isn’t published on Tuesday morning, don’t panic. (This last sentence is, of course, completely pointless, since, if the blog isn’t published on Tuesday morning, you won’t read the sentence telling you not to panic.)

Which brings us, not a moment too soon, to the second topic, the ever-more-imminent arrival of Micha’el, Tslil and Tao from Portugal. They are due to arrive on Monday 8 June, which gives me even greater incentive to plunge myself into post-op physiotherapy and exercising in the hope of making my recovery time as short as is safely possible. They will be in Israel for about 5 weeks, including an initial 10 or 14 days of isolation for Tslil and Micha’el. They will be based with us.

This means, tragically, that Bernice and I will have to entertain Tao for that first period. Bernice started her preparations weeks ago, touring Ma’ale Adumim to discover a park that has baby swings (although now we understand that Tao has meanwhile graduated to a swing without a safety bar), making lists of possible outings, writing shopping lists, planning in-house activities.

Last week, we had a grandparent shopping day, starting at Ikea outside Bet Shemesh, continuing to the Hadar Mall in Talpiot, and ending at our own mall. We returned home with a number of practical pieces of equipment, as well as all sorts of goodies to supplement the fairly good toddler’s library and the Duplo and other toys that we have kept for decades for just such an occasion.

This morning, I discovered a used spice jar soaking in a bowl of water in the kitchen. When I asked Bernice what that was about, she explained that she was soaking off the label, because the jars are such fun for water play. Something tells me that our house is going to be looking like the set of Blue Peter for much of this summer. (If you’ve no idea what I’m talking about, Blue Peter is now the longest-running children’s TV programme in the world, having been launched in 1958 for a planned six episodes. This clip, from the 1980s, will give you an idea of what I am alluding to, and of just how wholesome the programme was…and still is.)

And, speaking of ‘Here’s one I made earlier’, the last couple of weeks have also been devoted, on my part, to preparing for the culinary onslaught that awaits us. Micha’el is, by nature, something of an obsessive in all things, including food: he knows what he likes, and he doesn’t hold back. I have therefore made two kilo jars of piccalilli, with the expectation of needing to make two more halfway through their visit, and also some shesek (loquat) chutney, which is another wonderful use of that versatile fruit I celebrated a few weeks ago.

This week I have devoted to baking. Whereas I normally bake 500-gram loafettes, which last the two of us a couple of days, I went this time for a 2-kilo loaf, and also a 3-kilo batch of platzels and baigels. I only hope that my recovery from surgery is fast enough for me to be up to baking again by the time that all gets eaten…but I’m not optimistic.

As regular viewers of the videos will know, Tao is a keen baker, and Micha’el tells me he is excited at the prospect of making bread with me. I’m not trying to be competitive, but I bet he isn’t half as excited as I am. I’m sure he will also be cooking with his Nana, and gardening.

Touched by the news of Eric Carle’s death this week, I just hope that Tao hasn’t outgrown The Very Hungry Caterpillar yet. It was one of his absolute favourites when we were last in Portugal…but that is now 15 months ago. I know he’s moved on to loftier things, but some of us are in no hurry to let go of the old favourites.

Of course, some friends are warning us that we don’t know what’s hitting us, and that suddenly increasing by 150% the mouths to feed, bodies to clean clothe, minds to entertain, is going to hit us very hard – and particularly the one of us that doesn’t have a note from the doctor. However, I know that Bernice is more than up to this. After all, she’s used to handling 25 times this number of toddlers, and their parents! On the other hand, grouchy one-legged septuagenarians are another matter entirely.

Meanwhile, Tao’s wheelbarrow is still right up there at Number 1. Does anybody have one we could borrow for a few weeks?